Profile for Bonochick
| Type |
Member |
| Name |
Katherine |
| Email |
BonochickKat@hotmail.com |
| ICQ UIN |
No ICQ...but my Yahoo is Bonochick |
| AIM |
Bonochick Kat |
| MSN |
BonochickKat@hotmail.com |
| Website |
Ryan Adams Quotes & Concert Banter:http://come_pick_me_up.tripod.com |
| Country |
United States |
| State |
Michigan |
| Age |
24 |
| Favorite Album |
Cold Roses |
| Favorite Song |
SYLVIA PLATH |
| Other Bands I Like |
U2, The Rolling Stones, Depeche Mode, Jesse Malin, Leona Naess, Bright Eyes, Franz Ferdinand, Elliott Smith, Idlewild, Brendan Benson, The Music, The Streets, The Cars, The White Stripes, The Raveonettes, The Libertines, INXS, The Killers, Huey Lewis and The News, AC/DC, etc... |
| Signature |
=========
"Pipe down, chorus boy!" |
| Other |
Taylor Hicks is my co-pilot.
"U2 will admit that they wrote the song 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' after searching through four supermarkets, trying to find Boo Berry cereal." -Edge
Now with 50% less sarcasm!
Henry Rollins is a crafty bastard.
Bears: don't poke them.
A sharp tongue can cut your throat.
I swear to drunk, I'm not God!
Shit is still shit, even if 1,000 flies like it.
Nyquil and riding lawnmowers don't mix.
Go to hell, go directly to hell.
Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
"If I was a derivative, I'd be the tangent to your curve."
"One day, if the stars align, I will make it to Bonochick's signature list...
and if you use this one, I'll cut you good..." -Ron Burgndy
"I've had a beef with you ever since I 'came back' - where the fuck is one of my glorious quotes in your profile? I mean, I understand that it is impossible to incorporate everything I've ever said into your profile, but really - you could pick SOMETHING." -Emily
"Making the Bonochick profile is like being the pool champ in the local dive bar - only the crudest, drunkest, and ugliest ever get the title." -Emily
"Seriously, how much fun would we have?! We'd both be laughing until Merlot comes squirting out our noses." -Emily
"Only a true friend would tell you the bow is too cute." -Emily
"It's time we face it - we're all horrible, bad people." -Emily
"Touching my feet with your mouth should be a stunt on Fear Factor." -Emily
"I love kids. Except for the ugly ones. And the creepy ones. And the totally insane ones." -Emily
"its sort of like when people say they laughed all the way to the bank they didnt really laugh all the way they stopped for ice cream on the way" -brandy crimson
"I wish Little Debbie made bitchcakes." -brandy_bomb
"Kat would be banning people for not liking ham and lizards." -brandy_bomb
"I'm seriously going to cry about missing Justin. Ticketmaster is always telling me not to miss Nickleback, but they couldn't have sent me a note about Justin? I hate them." -brandy_bomb
"It was one adult novelty store, and they didn't ban me. They just said I couldn't take pictures with the merchandise. Gah. Get your facts straight." -brandy_bomb
"I can get insulted by my family. I don't have to come to the internet for that." -brandy_bomb
"If I banned her, who would I make fun of?" -brandy_bomb
"When did stalking get such a bad rap? Is it wrong that my love for you requires me to hide in the backseat of your car? I think not." -brandy_bomb
"Fights on the internet are so 1999." -brandy_bomb
"Keef has an ass that you know Xenu had to have made on a Saturday, just so he could rest on Sunday." -brandy_bomb
"You should tell them that your aunt Gertie is sick, and she might not make it. I'd place her on life support like Thursday while at work, and on Friday pretend that random phone calls are from relatives. At my last job my Aunt Gertie died seven times. The poor woman." -brandy_bomb
"I will beat you like some stiff egg whites. Bitch, you will peak." -brandy_bomb
"I've already threatened him and called him a bitch. I'm wearing the pants in this thread." -brandy_bomb
"You know you would eat a mile of turds just to kiss my lips, Katmandu." -brandy_bomb
"Dang it to heck. You know I'm sad when I use wholesome curse words." -brandy_bomb
"Huey Lewis. Ask Kat about Huey. She has erected a shrine, and Huey erected something for Kat in return." -brandy_bomb
"Bono is one fine piece of U2 loving tail." -brandy_bomb
"HAHAHA! I always keep a spare ass." -brandy_bomb
"I met them Friday night after the show, so I can attest to the story. I got four cigarettes off Peter Hayes, and I don't even smoke. I actually ended up with all four lit in my hand at once. I will get lung cancer for BRMC. Proudly." -brandy_bomb
"I'd hate to have the board shutdown over the sharing of Jewel files. We have a rep to maintain." -brandy_bomb
"I love my Justin Timberlake disc just as much as my Ryan disc. Can Ryan have my naked by the end of his song? Probably, but I did it unwittingly." -brandy_bomb
"Oh, how I wish to be his Double Gulp, so that he could swig from my fountain of sexy." -brandy_bomb
"Well that is one way to know that the house is on fire. Kat wet herself. EVACUATE!!!" -brandy_bomb
"Last year I got Michael Bolton's greatest hits for my birthday. I shit you not. Apparently my attempts at humor on the job fell short, and my co-workers actually thought I enjoyed Michael Bolton. My emotionally charged rampage later that day was all anyone could talk about." -brandy_bomb
"My step-dad smoked himself into a pair of cowboy boots from Marlboro. Do you even know how many Marlboro miles he had to save for those?" -brandy_bomb
"I got Tim Mcgraw's greatest hits for Christmas one year. Yup.
That was the Christmas I punched my grandma in the face." -brandy_bomb
"I'll ban your retarded ass out of spite." -brandy_bomb
"Even my mom hates James Blunt." -brandy_bomb
"Kat, go to hell." -brandy_bomb
"George is not friendly. He's mean and his friend ate all the muffins at the continental breakfast." -brandy_bomb
"A fucking calculator? Hahahahahahahahaha!! Bitch, don't fuck with me or I will graph your ass on the Y axis." -brandy_bomb
"I'm an emo ninja. I kill them with bad poetry, and lots of eye makeup." -brandy_bomb
"New Rule: Bluetooth headset users have to do something that lets me know you're just on the phone and not a dangerous schizophrenic. Right? We don't know if you're talking to your secretary or the evil leprechaun who lives in your head. You're not the chief communications officer of the Starship Enterprise. You're a shoe salesman asking your mom if you can bring over your laundry. If I wanted to overhear every tedious scrap of brain static rattling around in your head, I'd read your blog." -brandy_bomb
"He was all sitting next to freaking Ryan Cabrera. How do you spell that? The man's hair is illegal in seven states. This totally includes Puerto Rico." -brandy_bomb
"Why have I not been friended? Ass." -brandy_bomb
"Everyday we should wake up and thank Xenu that we aren't Fred Durst." -brandy_bomb
"I once changed the numbers on my stepbrother's order. Instead of getting Busta Rhymes, he got It's Time for Regis." -brandy_bomb
"I just threatened my cat with bodily harm for playing with the earbuds. He does not know what a taco kicking is right now, but he will soon enough." -brandy_bomb
"You need your skin. Otherwise, your innards will be all cold and on display. Talk about a fashion faux pas." -brandy_bomb
"I caught the gay once at a Wham concert. Luckily, it washed off in the shower." -brandy_bomb
"We had a boy here in town who put his little puppy dog on a grill, and set him on fire. If I was the judge I would have sentenced him to die the same way. Only I would have roasted marshmallows over his ass." -brandy_bomb
"You brought up John Mayer, and the shit went down fast." -brandy_bomb
"I am worried about my pent up agression. I may have to visit an Insane Clown Posse forum before I go to bed." -brandy_bomb
"That's fucking right you fucking fucker. I'd fucking stake claim on that fucking shit if I was fucking you. I mean who the fuck do these fuckers think they fucking are? Fucking Xenu or some fucking shit. I fucking swear. It's all a bunch of fucking shit any fucking way. Do I get the fucking title for the most fucking times fuck has been said in a fucking post without it fucking pertaining to any fucking thing? I fucking hope so you fucking motherfuckers. Fuck me I'm fucking out." -brandy_bomb
"I saw the Stones on their last tour. I bought two tickets in the very last row of the arena. I'm talking if a lightbulb needed to be changed, I could have done it. The tickets were $157 a piece and that didn't include the fees. I thought I was going to die when I hit the process button.
From now on tickets have to be under $50 with fees for me to go. A girl has to have her standards. Of course this could all change when Neil Young plays the Ryman. I'd sell my mama for that one." -brandy_bomb
"I would donate a kidney to my iPod if she needed it. I can't even go to the kitchen without her. It's disgusting how much I love the availability of it." -brandy_bomb
"I think she called you a drag queen. I wouldn't take that sitting down. Whip her with your boa." -brandy_bomb
"Willie Nelson is starting to offend me with his musical partners. I was all for him and Ryan falling into the Gap, but man Jessica Simpson and Toby Keith just fuck with me emotionally. I think I need a moment." -brandy_bomb
"I almost ran over Little Richard in my car once. Him and those damn sparkly boots." -brandy_bomb
"OH MY GAWD!!!! We should write a sitcom about folks using everyday words as descriptors for awesomeness. Is that a word?
Did you see that movie last night? It was so Tupperware, and the effects were Ramen." -brandy_bomb
"Well aren't U2 fans big spenders? We are Ryan Adams fans. We want to spend money on booze. Not fancy flood control. Ha ha!!" -brandy_bomb
"I like the swimmers bodies. I so watch sports for all the wrong reasons. I also had a dream about the Hamm twins involving chalk, myself, and a pommel horse." -brandy_bomb
"I would be pretty boring to stalk. You'd be like, damn, this girl sleeps a lot." -brandy_bomb
"Kat, I told you. The Food Network will call you if they need a new schizo, semi-nude chef." -brandy_bomb
"I think Peter Gallagher's eyebrows deserve their own show. You can not run from the eyebrows, for they offer some sort of animal magnetism. I will come to you, blessed eyebrows." -Boimb LaBeef
"Oh, it better be on, or someone is getting buttfucked with a 2x4."
-Boimb LaBeef
"Middle school was loser paradise." -SJWmod
"you goddamn doogied in your love of the crimson" -J.J. LaCrimson
"Vanilla Ice ruins everything." -victoria
"May the shwartz be with you Bonostalkerchick. By the way, that's pretty sneaky trying to entice me into your neighborhood with yogurt. You are one lazy stalker. Should I sit on the street in front of your house so all you have to do is occasionally look up from the computer and leer and isn't this one damn long sentence???" -mojoryzin
"We're all in this together! My manhood is not threatened. For the moment." -Dave
"The funny thing is that many of us are recommending grilling, yet the idea of Bonochick around fire is a bit unsettling." -goldnhmr
"I hope your boyfriend took out personal accident insurance when he moved in with you. Rumour has it your dad hasn't had so much as an ingrown nail since you left." -goldnhmr
"She took a lot of time making up her profile never to come back.
Bonochick probably ran her over with her car or something." -goldnhmr
"Ryan is being a poseur with that Motley Crue shirt. He listens to John Tesh like constantly." -goldnhmr
"Rumour has it Bono cried when he heard you weren't attending any shows....." -goldnhmr
"Ryan can slime all over me anytime." -goldnhmr
"That reminds of the time I went to a Drive-In, ordered a chilli dog and was told 'Chilli is out of season.' I was like, "WTF? Is there a chilli tree somewhere? Did the summer draught shrivel the little bowls causing a worldwide chilli shortage? How can chilli be out of season? It comes in a fucking can you bimbo!'" -GoldFalcon
"If I was gonna get a North Carolina themed tattoo, I'd get one of a pulled pork sandwich." -GoldFalcon
"Oh I'd kill to see a hamster rumble. Little bandanas and tiny little switchblades." -GoldFalcon
"My rider will include 60 bottles of beer and place no restictions on intoxicants in the venue. If bottled water is present, I will be allowed a 20 minute homicidal rampage. Ditto 'soy' anything." -GoldFalcon
"Don't worry, with enough alcohol you can kill off the brain cells that trigger the 'it's wierd drinking alone' mechanism. It will be replaced by a 'More For Me' mechanism." -GoldFalcon
"I am humbled by Bonochick's love for Ryan." -maltical
"Someone in Columbus who goes to OSU has a Bonochick license plate. I can kill them for you if you want since there can only be one Bonochick, and you are most certainly the original one." -maltical
"There's another Bonochick in the world? Shit? No way she's as cool as you!" -Sharif
"Aw, remember when Ryan liked us?" -littleknowgirl
"You know, most guys would kill to be threatened by Bonochick." -littleknowngirl
"Waterbeds are great for some things, but sleeping isn't one of them!" -Caramel Velvet
"I wish I could figure out how to make Bonochick my best friend." -damsam
"Now that I know Bonochick cares, I guess I'll have to care." -duckage
"'dad, i love you. i got in a wreck, okay? yeah i'm going to call 911 in a mo. totally. yep, okay. me too. gotta go. yeah, i got cheese, i'll make sure i pull it out of my hulking wreck of a vehicle. i don't think it will spoil. okay. me too. gotta go. no i won't forget the cheese. i love you. talk to you later. i'm fine. it's all surface bleeding. okay. bye.'" -Felonious Punk
"we need to set up a KatKam. there's no losers. she already thinks she's being stalked and insane things always happen to her. no one would be able to resist this. it would bury all shows, including m*a*s*h finale and the super bowl combined." -eh?--what?
"bonochick, where does--not being the thread killer b/c RYAN FRICKING ADAMS posted below you fit in? btw, hi, RYAN FRICKING ADAMS" -eh?--what?
"I'm convinced that BC has a gravitational pull for disaster. She's like the Sun of Misfortune. And I couldn't possibly be more entertained." -eh?--what?
eh?: "Nice going completely busting your vow of chastity, you slut."
blackandblue: "I'm not a slut, eh?. I'm just chastity-challenged."
"I had to get that song removed from my rectum six months ago, painful procedure. It had wedged itself up surprisingly high. Damn Top 40." -eh? (about John Mayer's "No Such Thing")
"Nothing says, 'I'm straight' like having your friend cut you out of your too-tight jeans." -eh?
"Bonochick, you must calm down, although someone as intense as yourself is indeed interesting." -eh?
"Kat, I DEFINITELY see you in the role of the nymphet in 'Don't Stand So Close To Me'." -eh?
"Kat has one of the strangest lives I have ever heard of. Ever. You got to have titanium ones though to steal something at a police station." -eh?
"On the beer topic, that is a very logical solution but I'm an illogical alcoholic at concerts." -Tarheeled
"Keyboard broken my ASS." -drewdrop
"Dont forget about the sacrificing of virgins. Are there virgins about here? Not any fucking more." -drewdrop
"Not long ago I read the Scott Stapp thing in Rolling Stone. About his addictions and the Bible. That guy is a sack of suck." -drewdrop
"Hijack, my ass, Bonochick...wait...that didn't come out right..." -Answering Belle
"Right now, you are probably on 4 threads and juggling bowling pins while writing poems and eating gummi worms." -ginsoakedboy
voice of reason: "Jimmy is also a douche."
cwhumble: "VOR, if you keep calling Jimmy a douche, he'll never join us for lunch."
"Whatever assface, henceforth I will refer to you as 'the ghost'." -voice of reason (to csh)
"Unfortunately for you, I'm still right." -voice of reason
"If Bono yelled at me, I'd tell him he was a creepy looking, do-gooder bastard. But whatever, at least he wrote 'One'." -voice of reason
"stumbling went bitchcakes on someone." -voice of reason
"Detroit has been abandoned by God." -voice of reason
"I'm willing to put a large sum of money on the line to say that Zimmy probably looks like he ran the 40-yard dash in a 30-yard gym." -voice of reason
"Whoa! Doogie and Zimmy in the same thread... the universe may collapse in on itself!" -voice of reason
"Uh oh, BC's coppin' an attitude." -voice of reason
"What, so Bonochick just gets to go around making people popes?" -voice of reason
"I googled a bunch, don't get mad tim crimson." -Losering MI
"You gotta watch out for guys and their video games.
Something about them makes us revert back to a under-slept spazzy 11 year old, all hopped up on jolt cola and gummy worms." -Losering MI
"*best english accent* However 007 there is a small camera device that has been given to you for the Ryan Adams concert mission. It looks like a button on the fron of your shirt. Click it once to take a photo but if you click it twice it will emit a gas that will knock out the asshole in front of you that keeps screaming for 'New York, New York' over and over..." -Losering MI
"In the old days stories where passed down through generation to generation as part of tradition. I think that bathroom graffiti has replaced this void in our society." -Losering Mi
mayday: "Subway is not a bribery lunch Kat. You need to raise your standards."
keef riffhard: "In the midwest Subway is."
keef riffhard: "I usually listen to Cold Roses while I strangle and stab strangers in dark alleyways."
voice of reason: "I put Gold on my iPod when I go seal clubbing."
Losering Mi: "I listen to Heartbreaker when I'm preforming cardiovascular surgery."
mmbmike737: "I listen to Love Is Hell while calling my girlfriend a pirate hooker."
eh?--what?: "I put on the Swedish Sessions when something in my house from Ikea breaks."
Jebus: "I didn't see this movie because I hate cowboys."
voice of reason: "Don't let that put you off Jebus, they were actually shepherds. Do you hate shepherds too?"
Jebus: "Kind of."
"Don Flamenco was the first gay video game boxer." -Jebus
"Claiming to be hip is like claiming to be honest: If you claim to be it, you are likely not it." -Jebus
"I should have told her to go suck a bible." -Jebus
"Unbelievable. I can't believe we had sex 582 times." -Jebus
"Correcting people's spelling online is for pricks." -Jebus
"I swear I get more talk about my name than anything else." -Jebus
"Valium is great for flying! Unless, of course, you're a pilot." -zno
"I hate you and your stick." -Fishbones
"You women will think of anything to trick us into marrying you." -clevelander
"The only thing blacker than my lungs is my heart!" -debaser64
"I'm quite pleased to see you turned down the guns and turned up the moonshine." -Shannon
Renee: "I just bought a harmonica, but it scares me. Something about the holes and my tongue."
Jizzy: "I like the holes, my tongue gets curious."
Jesse Dunn: "I continue to primarily play guitar because it's a convenient backup to my voice, and women love it (actually, anyone who tells you that is LYING)."
Renee: "Not true. I'll jump on just about anything that plays the guitar."
"Fuck toby keith! 'I'm livin in your radio', that must be one big-ass radio!" -KiB
"My dad meows like Jesus." -gyroharmaline
gyroharmline gives me dating advice:
"Give the fucker another chance, he seems confused."
"What exactly is an 'alcohol problem'? Is that like when the bar is closed?" -gharland
"I absolutely could not disagree more with Bonochick. She's out of her mind." -bacrunk
A (poorly misguided) ryannotadams about the dot-org:
"I'm just glad it's not as terrible as other boards with a bunch of immature idiots."
Fishbones' response: "He can't read."
"That looks like someone cast a level-five wuss spell on The Mars Volta." -highly medicated self-starter (on a Limbeck video)
"For just the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can make sure little Ryan gets to live in a million dollar Manhattan apartment and release as many albums as he wants to each year. You may be thinking, 'Well...I don't have time.' Take the time NOW. Won't you help?" -highly medicated self-starter
"I need to maintain my own fanbase before I worry about Ryan's." -highly medicated self-starter
"Plaid on plaid! Call the faux-pas police!" -highly medicated self-starter
"I find the key to stretching a bottle of shampoo is not using it." -highly medicated self-starter
"I totally just got chocolate pudding all in my underpants. Fuck that was scary." -harpster
"I just saw The Stones this summer in Chicago...I figure heaven will be a lot like that, except I'd be sitting closer." -harpster
"I find it hard to take the musical opinion of someone excited to see Jack Johnson without a grain of salt." -street spirit
"I think Bonochick is coming onto me...or threatening me. I kind read women all that well." -christopherdbate
"You think you've got problems? This weekend I kissed a man!" -christopherdbate
"No way Cannonball is that cute, sorry." -ferny
"What, are you Zen Buddhist or something. Fuck that, I'm American and I'm A.D.D and I need instant gratification or else. Fucking optimists! Sheesh!" -bwheaton
"Lionel Richie is such a hottie." -mmbmike737
"I'm guessing you did not offer the gentlemen your iPod as you did not want to cross contaminate ear wax?" -maureen
"I've kissed myself. Does that make me a narcissist?" -maureen
"I look hotter than hell in eyeliner, but I don't wanna kill nobody. Okay maybe I do sometimes, but I never would." -SAD EYES 2
Me: "Please don't hurt me. I'm fragile."
SAD EYES 2: "I'm more fragile. I'm drunk."
"Maybe Bono can fly in on his wings and give you a vinyl copy of Zooropa. And some love." -bigneonglitter
"I'd like to slam dance to some wicked punk tune, with my husband for our first song...that'd be fun. Probably one of the many reasons why I'll never get married." -joolz
"I swear, your sig is going to crash the internet." -stairway
"This thread is immediately forgettable, I must admit. Kinda like Hanging With Mr. Cooper." -Kirk Wells
"There's love in the air. It smells like cigarette smoke and vomit." -Kirk Wells
"It's called plaque...get used to it." -Kirk Wells
"I started using great words in my vocabulary when I read LOTR." -Kirk Wells
Me: "I love you."
Kirk: "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're killing this conversation."
"Oh, don't buy female condoms. You might as well use a plastic bag or something." -Jizzy S.P. LaBeef
"If it ain't Dutch, it ain't much!" –Jizzy
"Don't Google Asian cookies is all I can say. Yikes. " -Jizzy
"There are people on here sometimes that post stuff when sober that makes me wish they were drunk." -Jizzy
"Drink more, do less, and smoke lots of weed at night so you have an unhealthy appetite for sweets, and you'll be a fat fuck in no time!" -TequillaWorm
"You can be a member of the Funky Bunch if you can prove that you have an above average level of funkiness or bunchiness." -Jessica
"Being the more intelligent Hilton sister is like being the least crazy Jackson." -Screaming Flower
"How great would it be if one day all of us sat around in monkey pants drinking beer together?" -Screaming Flower
"Bonochick's trunk is like Mary Poppins' bag - only in a twisted way. Once she pulled out a grand piano with Liberace's corpse playing it, while eating chocolate. While quite macabre, it was still entertainingly flamboyant!" -John
"I love when people dis rock stars for having money. I hate those neurosurgeons that are actually smart, too. What fucking phonies." -highly motivated self-starter
"Keef, if you could just, like, talk with an Irish accent, wear Bono's fly shades and your U2 condom while you're bonin' Kat, it would, like, make her year." -Teresa
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants." -nattyb
"Basically, brilliant people tend to be fucked up. Unfortunately for me, being fucked up doesn’t mean you're brilliant. Oh well." -arronrod
"Dr. Dre got me banned from Napster too! I'm ten times the thug he'll ever be!" -Hero25x
"The fact of the matter is this is how Ryan schedules his tours. He comes on here searching for 'Ryan Come To ______' threads and then books the shows. Think I'm lying? Check out the new tour schedule: 'SEPTEMBER 13 - BONOCHICK'S BEDROOM'." -Champ Kind
"Apparently Yanni gets all shit-faced and posts weird stuff on his fansite." -Champ Kind
"Dylan McKay is my personal hero. When I was in high school, I even shaved the front of my hair to make it look like a receding hairline." -Champ Kind
"Well it may not be killer, but I did write a song called End Of Virginity - Doogie And His 16 Year-Old Half-Sister." -Cannonball
"I'm not a lawyer, I just play one on the internet." -Cannonball
"You start one more Counting Crows thread and I'll cut your nuts off." -Cannonball (to deron11)
"Sorry...most of us here on planet Earth don't speak Dipshit." -Cannonball
"There should be a law that says if you are actually driving below the speed limit while in the fast lane, then the car behind you can legally nudge you off the road." -Cannonball
"Well, TicketMaster charges a small, nominal fee for concerts here in the States... So if the ticket was $15 at face value, the total ticket price after TM's charges is somewhere around $350." -Cannonball
"There's some really stupid website out there with a bunch of quotes from Ryan at his shows when he bullshits with the crowd. The site is totally gay though. I think I read somewhere that the chick who made it is a closet crystal meth freak and a sooper turbo-slut." -Cannonball
"I used to be attracted to crazy girls in college for awhile. Crazy-crazy. Like, 'Lemme show you my razorblade scars' -crazy. I once proposed to a girl cuz she told me she hears voices." -Cannonball
"I read a news story a while back that profiled a homeless family of four that actually lived in Yanni's mustasche for 18 months." -Cannonball
"I may be white, but I can do the Running Man like MC Hammer on speed." -Cannonball
"I just got an email from Yahoo! saying ugly people with have a problem with their email today. My email is just fine :)" -Cannonball (when aka JB was having email problems)
"Holy crap - I LOVE Cheetos... When I die, I wanna go out with my head stuck in a bag of Cheetos!... While drinking Tang!" -Cannonball
"I caught 'Manic Narcisissm' from a toilet seat. It's horrible. The only way I can get off anymore is if I'm jerking off to pictures of myself." -Cannonball
"I'm sometimes always nearly not often full of shit... But for the most part I'm never mostly lying always...sometimes..." -Cannonball
"You guys are on the wrong end of the spectrum. I'd give my left nut for one night with Bea Arthur. Just one glorious night. I'll make her call me Stanley all... night... long." -Cannonball
"I recently started a letter-writing campaign to get Maude released on DVD." -Cannonball
"I'm glad to see that my attempt at civil activism has regressed to discussion concerning different clothing stores at the mall..." -Cannonball
"I've been skydiving...it wasn't tandem...it was by myself. It was awesome. The scariest part was actually when they opend the door. They told us they'd actually done studies - used a heart moniter to measure people's heartbeats, and they were ALWAYS highest when the door opened. No fucking kidding - you're in a plane and the Goddamn door opens!" -The .ORG King
"I told her I've never had a cold sore. I didn't wanna take the drink back because if I'm gonna GET the stuff, I better get it the fun way (kissing/making out) and not from a god damn glass of watered-down Sprite at Subway!" -The .ORG King
"You've never spilled something musicrow? Well congratufuckinglations. We have got a perfect trendy human being on our little message board. Let me guess you have fucking walked on water to, probably even healed leapers and fucked the virgin mary.
P.S. Hey Tennessee I hope you read this post and soil your vintage underwear." -campbsr
"Bonochick your so wise! like buddha only blonde and better looking" -nexusicon
"Making out with other dudes doesn't make you gay." -Rallo Johnson
"He accepts his largeness with stride and buffets." -Bobby
Nowhere Man explains how to break up with a girl:
"I just don't bathe for a while. Get stunk up. And then start saying 'broad' and 'dame' to her. Of course then I watch porno and say, 'Damn they are hot - why can't you be more like that?' - and then listen to Ryan records and constantly talk about how women have 'done him wrong' and that 'he's an angel!' To top it off, I do the robot dance in public (only with her) every chance I can get."
"Wait...who's Kat marrying now?" -Vachs36
"If only it were my real name then Bonochick would marry me! that would be ace...." -Troy Mcclure
"Me + alcohol + Ryan + lots of people = me being an ass. I'm like, 'DUUUDE do you know who this is?! This is RYAN FUCKING ADAMS! Have ever heard of him you? HE'S THE SHIT! Listen this to song -- isn't it FUCKING AWESOME!? You no don't appreciate it! No one appreeshates him like I do! He don't deserve that. YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM!!!'" -englishboy
"You come clean my kitchen and fix my vase (pronounced vah-ze) that Tom Cruise broke while jumping on my couch this weekend." -xenus moonpants
"Damn drunks." -C.K.
"go suck an egg, anyways, doogie!" -stumblinginthedark
"what's this about Ryan's intern?" -stumblinginthedark
"'Hubba hubba ding dong, you are hot!' he said in his email." -stumblinginthedark
"OMG, I'm so glad I started this thread. I love when Brandy and Bono go at it....makes me all hawt." -riffmomma
"i think its lame to judge people for what they wear. unless its speedos." -whosoldyouout?
"I wish brandy was here so I could watch her make out with Bonochick in the corner." -ima dork
"Butt crack is the new cleavage." -ima dork
"I should know better than to side with a boy." -ima dork
"We don't tolerate that type of meaness around here, and who the fuck are you anyway?" -ima dork
"Half the fun of my life is ruining stuff for people." -Renee!
"Oh, look at jrod correcting GOD." -Renee!
"So many of Ryan's songs sound like they are about love, but they all have an undercurrent of 'fuck you, you miserable bitch face' that I hesitate to recommend any Ryan for wedding." -Renee!
"Speaking of vases...I was in Marshall Fields the other day and this total frat guy was shopping with his mom and two sisters and I thought I hated him until he clunked his bag against the wall and said...
'Oh, shit! My vah-ze.'
Then I fell in love with him and his stupid baseball cap." -Renee!
"They wanted me to interview The Bravery, but I had to tell them that I would do it only if I was allowed to puke on the band at the end." -Renee
"I really want to work at Pitchfork. I can be a bitch." -Renee
"I told him to go to hell on a supersonic sled." -Renee
"I think Ryan kills you slowly and hugs you while he's doing it while Conor just stabs you in the stomach and runs." -Renee
"I always hate who I am when I'm dating someone. I'm better as a solo artist." -Renee
"How can a British kid be so dumb?" -1974baby
"So my office just hired a guy hot enough to be in the Stills and any Calvin Klein ad. Even better.....he's DUMB!!!!!" -1974baby
"How the fuck did Johnny Clash get my password?" - cwhumble
"Musicians shouldn't date in my opinion, especially local up and coming ones. It distracts them from their craft and lowers the pool of people that I can date." -cwhumble
"Those aren't hippies! They don't even have a hackey-sack." -cwhumble
"You fucking hippie!! Try not to be a menace to society by pushing your kind veggie tofu burritos hacetysackety glass drug paraphenalia and mange ridden dog on the rest of the law abiding society, brah." -cwumble
"Billy Joe is a douche-face. Coincidentally, so is Billy Joel, and he didn't even cancel a show." -cwhumble
"The hippies I know will eat just about anything you give 'em. They're a hungry lot." -tomatoz
"I only trust Taylor Hicks." -cochrock121
"M.Night Shamalangadingdong will have to work a lot harder for my money" -sweetillusions
"Seein' U2 is kinda like a religious experience. I walked outta the venue thinkin' I could take on the world. The vibes were just so right. I've never felt like that after any other concert. Like, with Ryan, for example, I just feel like smokin' and drinkin'." -Reese 3.0
"Blessed are Doogie and his special hat for he shall be at the Oasis Concert." -halpda
"Is that why you said "brb" before and then left for hours? I can imagine you running around the house, cleaning, while dancing to music, chewing gum, and basically just having a whole lot of ADD." -Duke487
"Good job! I mean...Good unemployed! So, how does it feel to be broke and on an online message board?" -Duke487
"And Brandy, speaking of Luda, I keep a CD in my glove compartment in case of traffic emergencies...It only has 1 song on it and it's Move Bitch." -Duke487
"You should play Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want. Unless you're too drunk and then you'll play Please Let Get Me I Want What Please Please." -duke487
"That is Doogie. He makes new user names all the time so he says 'Doogie:' at the start of posts to let us know that he is still alive and well (to the orgers' dismay)." -duke487
"I highly dislike people with bipolar; I think they're just showing off like how I got two mental capacities and you don't." -Doogie
"Doogie: Bonogirl, career?!! Why don't you go get a career.........A CAREER IN SUCKING!" -FutureSuccess
"Doogie: brandybomb, I know you're testing me. I am done with trading insults; it's such a waste of time when we got starving children we need to feed." -HighNose
"Doogie: brandy is as smoove as a fookin porcupine. Although, 'grace makes beauty out of an ugly thing'." -LuckyLouise
"Doogie: Holy fook, did you leave in my part of town in Texas?!! We had the same situation....Showbiz Pizza was a poor man's Chuck E. Cheese, because the latter was newer with better overhead, so the kids would rather to go to that. One time I ate so much slices of pizza I puked on my tickets and so I brought them in to the counter to exchange for those silly gifts, those tickets reeked of vomit so bad, the fooker said throw it away and I didnt want to; so I bargain the fooker to the counter to give me that big teddy bear that was worth 1000 Chuck E. Cheese tickets or I wont leave him, so he finally resorted to giving me that big teddy Chuck E. Cheese bear. HURRAY FOR ME THEN, AND HURRAY FOR ME NOW FOR REMEMBERING THAT DEAR MOMENT. HURRAY!!" -SeeThem?
"Bonogirl, Bono is not God, and he doesn't like girls; keep it between you and me, will ya?" -Doogie
"I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU PEOPLE RECOMMENDING BAD MUSIC TO ALL THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE." -Doogie
"Doogie: Sorry, I don't celebrate other people's eventual departure to the grave." (on birthdays)
"Doogie: Bonogirl, whenever you agree with me, try to keep it silent; otherwise, you bring down my credibility. Thanks, love."
"Doogie: Funny enough, when I think of the term 'Bonochick', I think of a crazed Christian girl who wants her feet wash by one of her friends before she ate at her birthday party to reenact The Last Supper."
"Doogie: Also, could anybody tell me why there aren't any more Burger King restaurants in Mongolia? Monks like to eat Burger King too motherfooker." -FlyingNun
"Doogie: This fookin Zimmy is all hype."
"What is quite funny is David Beckham naming his kids after where they were conceived.
My name should be Back of a Ford Escort." -Zimmy
"I didn't realize that rednecks got married. I can't imagine what that is like. I guess you save a lot on invitations since you only have to invite one family." -catedangerclements
"I would never abuse the apostrophe in your presence." -crazymofo
"Nice. Now my eBay boycott is over, and I can go back to searching for old typewriters and shit." -rufus
"Well, anything Bono is involved in other than maybe Bonochick's name sucks." -youhitharder
"I dated a Notre Dame magna cum laude grad of aerospace engineering for a long time. A real life rocket scientist. What a fucking basketcase. Gimme a drummer anyday." -aka JB
"Seeking medical advice on the dot org should also make you call a good shrink." -aka JB
"You're never alone if you bring a flask." -aka JB
"Bonochick, either you are very clever or I'm just very slow." -the shakes
"Bonochick has candy and a rusty twelve passenger van. Totally talk to her. ;) jk bono I heart your face." -ErikAcoustic
"Bonochick to the rescue! She's like Mighty Mouse, just sexier." -ErikAkoustic
"dear alcohol,
you make my life miserable, but i love you anyway. are you a man?
thank you for your prompt response,
ggd" -goodgoddog
"Obsessive longing songs? I think I have 957 of those on my iPod." -goodgoddog
"Michigan is the state that never sleeps." -goodgoddog
"Tell your roommate that Ryan is like a Faberge egg...it's only for people with exquisite taste who have the patience to recognize every minute detail. Then tell him to fuck off." -goodgoddog
"Do not cross an artist. It will end up in a public forum." -goodgoddog
"Don't do it. Today the cake, tomorrow the cream horn. Cake is a gateway confectionary." -katyr
"I'm not very likeable either, but I fooled a very nice girl into marrying me. I may not have any friends, but I get laid regularly." -ThisDandyLife
"Ryan doesn't release one new album every 4-5 years because he doesn't want to. He writes material like...something that does something a lot." -ThisDandyLife
"we were on my friends boat. we were docking it and he dropped his brand new 60gb ipod into the shallow water. i just about hasselhoffed off the boat into the water to save it." -rahbee
"I'm glad you took this guy off the market because he sounds about as much fun as meatloaf without ketchup." -sarahbelle
"Oh my gosh, stop eating Elmo, gees, if you are going to bite someone, bite the grouch or big bird, oh Elmo nooooo, I can't watch!" -crazyheart
"I don't think John Mayer even likes John Mayer that much, so let's give him a break." -whiterussian
"i get sweet n sour sauce for at mcdonalds for my fries too. they charge 11 cents. they're fuckers." -sunflower blu
"I wish I knew how to mix music...the only thing I'm good at is criticizing poorly mixed albums." -miss oh
miss oh: "SKA IS FUCKIN DEAD....DUMBASS! i didnt even have to waste any time listening to the music either! im damn good at giving feedback"
tapilon: "Any luck on finding a new job??? With a bright and shiny attitude like yours, recruiters should be knocking down your door asking for a resume. Perhaps in the teen-retail sector- or maybe in the field of Salad Bar Technician."
"I wouldn't take anyone for more that two weeks. I'm a nice guy, but I would throw your shit on the lawn after two and a half weeks." -tapilon
"I've always been tempted to join Sam's Club. Where else can you get a 20 lb. sack of frozen chicken breasts, a treadmill, tire rotation and enough Tide to last you and your neighbors for a year???" -tapilon
james: "I am a dreamer and a lover of words."
Ugh: "I am a realist and a hater of you."
"I think you have to have a permit to take your shirt off." -self-inflicted song
"Fuckin' Ticketmaster can shove their $13.50 service fee up their ass. How you like that service, bitch?" -self-inflicted song
"I say we enact a new dot org rule that you can't register or post until you have pubic hair." -beautifulsorta
"I just called my brain tumor a pain in the ass. What does that say about me?" -brokeneyes
"Fear the beard." -CryOnDemand
"You people drive me insane. I couldn't handle you in person." -mysuicidalturtle
"At least music isn't bad for your cholesterol level." -mysuicidalturtle
"Go fuck a tree." -mysuicidalturtle
"I didn't get any sex or waffles either. I even sent her poetry." -mysuicidalturtle
"And as my mother has always said, 'Counters are for glasses, not asses'." -Nikki Sinn
"That is actually Rick Moranis, who is doing it with Parker while Ryan is getting his brain cysts out. He's like a country rock stunt double these days." -teacher dave
"I have a crush on lasagna." -broken chord
"I tried to be as straight-forward as possible with you, Kat, but you continue to badger me about this absurd idea. For the last time, no, I will not father any of your children - not in this life, not ever." -broken chord
"If shitty pop music didn't exist, then what would we sing if we we're drunk? Shitty pop music makes the world go round." -smell my cheese
"You're just sitting there and something smells good. That's awesome enough, but when you realize it's your armpits that smell great, that is freaking incredible." -free
"How does he owe you $12 for a cd you chose to buy? Makes no sense. It's not like he tricked you into buying it." -jonathin
"Batman hasn't done shit for Africa." -sean
"Kermit's such a sellout motherf$#*r. I can't believe he's doing reality shows now. anything to make a buck...huh? f*#$n' frog." -sean
Alice In Wonderland: "I need tips to become a mean cold selfish bitch, cuz my current soft & sensitive attitude is getting me nowhere, other than this place.
Teach me to become the wicked witch of the west."
sean: "carrots? you wanna take this one?"
"Bonochick, putting a smile on your face will always be more fulfilling than a smile on Screech's." -kanakukbro
"There's this gay guy I know that's totally obsessed with me...if only I was gay...then I'd be set..." -photojones
"Laptops are cool...until they're not." -photojones
"I think Darius Rucker's career hit a massive peak when he started doing his work for Burger Kings TenderCrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch Burger (TM)." -fatolcock
"Way to spoil the illusion for me.
I'm off to write my letter to santa." - Quincy
nufc0908 on Maroon 5:
"My favorite bit was when the video got banned to like the 2 am slot because it was 'too racy'. I just thought it was an excuse to not have to put the shit music on until no one was watching."
"No doogie is good doogie." -keef riffhard
"Where's that cheese lover when I need her...?" -keef riffhard
"I've never heard a white gang being some real bad motherfuckers." -keef riffhard
"As small as Ryan is, he sure does have a hard time finding clothes that fit him. Maybe he should stop shopping at Baby Gap..." -keef riffhard
"Something must have terribly went wrong for Kat to go from the young cutie to wind up as the person she is now...." -keef riffhard
"Nobody sins more than Bonochick..." -keef riffhard
"It's fitting that Bonochick is the one that eventually takes control of the 'beyond stupid' thread." -keef riffhard
"Bonochick is having my child!! In honor of The Edge, we are calling it 'The Perimeter'..." -keef riffhard
"Renee's writing a book, but she can't even spell her own name?" -keef riffhard
"The only way you can tell if I'm excited is if I pee my pants." -keef riffhard
"We're just poor little orphans left in the Christmas snow with no presents staring though Bonochick's window and dreaming..." -keef riffhard
"The problem with silk boxers is that they feel too damn good, and you're walking around all day with harry the happy hard on." -keef riffhard
"Scientists have discovered a food that makes women not desire sex anymore...and that food is a wedding cake." -keef riffhard
"You know shes gonna say it's great....it could be a CD with Bono farting, and she would tell us it is the best." -keef riffhard
"Keef is slightly more threatening than a park bench." -
"I'd love to have a dream where i met Morrissey, but knowing me I'd say something stupid or turn into a lampshade or something." -shadowofacat2
"It's good to know that even when you're dreaming, you take no shit." -shadowofacat2
"Playing Scrabble with your cat is a bore. Every other word is miaow." -shadowofacat2
"I gave up smoking for Lent. My sacrifice taught me that I truly love smoking. I am a smoker, hear me roar, or rather cough and wheeze." -gin_n_teacups
"It's called 'rock star bedhead'. The trick is to not wash it. Ever. The greasier and stinkier it is, the cooler you are." -scottish
"I love all of God's little creatures. Even Bonochick." -scottish
"My only regret is that I have but one life to spend fucking with you." -scottish
"Oh, please. I'm a boy, remember? And a fruit loop. Anything I do or use is purely intended to impress women or entertain myself. Hence my Robert Smith teased hair tonight." -scottish
"My New Year's resolution was to understand what the hell you are talking about. I failed." -scottish
"When you're not being sarcastic and bitchy, you have a lot of love to give." -scottish
"i wonder if im the most defective .orger. headaches, allergies, scoliosis, tiny hole in heart, probly have ADD, deaf. woo. when can i qualify for the special olympics?" -ant
"I am constantly baffled by musician-speak. So envious of you all. My mum wouldn't pay for piano lessons - I had to have a pony like my sister." -doused-in-gin
"Yeah, Doogie is a c word." -chis
"I have pills, Chinese characters, hair, pictures, beer and a lighter. Not even macguyver could escape with that." -chis
"a deathfuckshit right now?? i feel like a menopausing woman who's been kicked in the ovaries by a gang of power hungry boy scouts.. asjdjhsakfhafsj.. this is the most boring saturday in my entire life.." -whisperer
"I love MacGyver..he was the first cool person." -whisperer
"My pocket protector almost shat itself." -Charlie D
"I play the drums because I am a manic depressive and hate vegetables." -indy
"I never trust a happy person." -rob
"Who doesn't love big fluffy hair? It single handedly propelled the 80s!" -Black Roses
"You and a bulldozer can only mean something newsworthy." -Adrienne
"I don't know, that damn grammar nazi bonoyouth has me all sketched out to type anything." -Rallo Johnson
"You can always count on Bonochick for all your U2-related needs." -1978
"You guys are lame, and I love you for it." -Jacksonbille
"gavo got scared. i pointed him out, and gayvo goes, 'no. no. christie. no. let's go. i have to fix my hair and cut my fingernails.' what a wuss." -xtie lynn
"Conor Oberst can't speak he's too coked up. That fucker smashed my hand once and then he apolgoized and touched me... so all these girls were touching me to get the Conor on themselves." -xtie lynn
"I always knew your dad was cooler then you." -keef riffhard
"Nothing like the one two punch of snarkiness and grammar correction that is jrod and Tim Crimson." -Houston County
"It's spelled Jell-o, Baffy. And yes, it is a delicious treat." -jrodisdead
"He's so talented he can play guitar and steal bikes at the same time." -jrodisdead (about Ryan)
"Huey was nothing without the News." -jrodisdead
"Kat, if you don't have anything bad to say about your job you shouldn't say anything at all." -jrodisdead
"Go eat some ham, devil woman." -jrodisdead
"Well I don't care what mythology says, I say there is a race of pegasi and I'm obsessed with it!" -jrodisdead
"I work at Every Day Sucks. The name explains it all." -jrodisdead
"You said pop. Silly midwesterner." -jrodisdead
"Renee loses 10 points for misquoting the Dynamite." -jrodisdead
"I am the funniest person in the world, and thus by default the funniest dot orger. Bonochick is really funny, but her rapist's wit pales in comparison with mine." -jrodisdead
"The Spring Equinox is the biggest sham perpetrated on the people of the northern hemisphere since the vernal equinox." -jrodisdead
"You're indisputably a douchenostril." -jrodisdead
"I am not a douchenoodle!" -jrodisdead
"Wow. Bonochick done dissed me." -jrod
"Doogie kind of fascinates me...in the Seinfeld...'He disgusts me...yet I cannot look away'..way." -AmyG
"Who the hell cares what someone we nicknamed tampon...has to say" -AmyG
"I love my children dearly, but there are days when I wish I just stuck to pets." -AmyG
"One of the many purposes of boyfriends is the oil change." -AmyG
"Hating Seinfeld is sacreligious." -AmyG
"Next he'll be sitting on a toilet in front of people for a month. If I were his mother I'd tell him to get a REAL job. Enough of this shit." -AmyG (on David Blaine)
"What is this world coming to when people like Yanni get involved in domestic disputes! I have lost ALL faith." -AmyG
"Bonochick, I say without hesitation that you are the queen of random." -pagethesage1275
"Now that's a blatant lie...I'm as humble as the next guy. Now excuse me while I pump my pecs to the 1812 Overture." -pagethesage1275
"This is one George who isn't curious about Jack Johnson." -pagethesage1275
"Haha...I just said that for you, even though I didn't know you were on the board. I bet your Bonodar was going crazy..." -pagethesage1275
"A 'Huey Lewis' commemorative porcelain tile? Damn you, Bonochick!" -pagethesage1275
"Man, Scott Stapp...what a skidmark." -pagethesage1275
"Yeah man, this really blows. Maybe he can find a lawyer who will take it pro bonochick..." -pagethesage1275
"Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry, got caught up reading your ridiculously long profile. We sure to spew out a lot of noteworthy bullshit on this board." pagethesage1275
"That was a Simpsons quote by the way...I was seeing if Bonochick would pounce on it like a shark on a bleeding surfer." -pagethesage1275
"Look at Will Smith...brotha was on top of the world back then." -pagethesage1275
"What's that, Lassie?? Ryan's passed out in the gutter in a drunken haze???" -carrots
"Is sean stalkcheating on me???" -carrots
"I love how bonochick manages to make fun of ispy even while complimenting him." -carrots
"A salad without carrots is like a night without stars." -carrots
"I happen to like Scientologists. I mean, they give out free stress tests and sell books in the subway. And nothing really relieves my stress than being able to shove them out of my way and say, 'Leave me the fuck alone!' when I'm walking in the subway after a really long day at work." -carrots
"Keef, I don't recall ever having ANY cool points. Does this mean I'm now -10?" -carrots
"Ryan totally knows he has a cute bum, he drops things on purpose." -AloneTogether26
"It's kinda like trying to re-write 'Blowin' In The Wind' as a 15 minute rock opera. Why turn something simple, beautiful and enjoyable into something that seems like a grand enough idea at the time, but could turn out to be a real pain in the ass that you can't wait to reach the end of?" -Van Hoofstraten!
"Your music makes me want to knife my own face off with a rusty bastard." -Van Hoofstraten!! (on James Blunt)
"For all the shit we give James Blunt, I wish I was him in his new video he gets it on with Mischa Barton." -tim crimson
"Can you imagine him in the army? I can see him going 'Run away, run away' in a girlie voice, flinging his arms around and tripping over his heels." -Fried Gold (about James Blunt)
"Hello again my little Ryan bitches. Oh so constant with an obsession with a man who prefers the company of small animals. It is true that tiny mammals can converse in a manner befitting a beautiful King." -me pero
"maybe that's stew's problem..he left a pony country...." -Strawberry Dream
"WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH CUPCAKE, BONOCHICK!" -strawberry dream
"YAY!! I finally FINALLY got a Romper Room shout out!! I used to get so upset when that bitch never said my name!" -strawberry dream
"The iTunes store is like the McDonald's of music...crap quality, but people all over the world buy it." -strawberry dream
"I like no subject threads! Great for when you got nothing to say but want someone to say it to." -strawberry dream
"All future presidential candidates should have to play 'president' in a blockbuster movie, and the one who's film has the highest gross wins!!!" -strawberry dream
"There is something at the botton of the page about it, in true ISPY fashion...he's like the Walter Cronkite of the org." -strawberry dream
"FOR ALL WHO HATE RYAN, go here: www.tobeykeith.com" -thebalvenie
"ISPY = I Stalk Parker Yearly" -keef
"Keef, a man who has literally fathered several countries." -ISPY2
"He is so hot his underwear spontanously combusts." -ISPY2 (on Keef)
"The law is a jealous mistress." -ISPY2
"You are nothing until you hit the level of Brandy, Bonochick and MST, that defines bottoming out." -ISPY2
"Ryan's fans probably have a bigger alcohol/drug problem than he does." -ISPY2
"Text message, a pansy ass way of saying goodbye." -ISPY2
ISPY2, on choosing sex over money:
"Waking up to George Washington's face in the am doesn't do it for me anymore."
"It's always considerate not to arouse your roommate." -ISPY2
"You can always tell the good NYC bars by akaJB, Goldie, and 1974baby's facial imprints in the floor." -ISPY2
"I mean, some guys in Kentucky are attracted to goats, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that a guy could be attracted to you." -Jason
"BC u smell like dead puppies! we hate you! even though u wish to run ur fingers through my lushious beard!" -s faulkner rhyne
"I'd skip the game to be your stand-in boyfriend bonochick...at least the second half of a blow-out." -DougoBlue
"This is a Ryan fucking Adams message board. The man would roll you up and smoke you if he couldnt find his pack of American Spirits fast enough." -jimmymac
dianne: "I have a question... have you ever made a post about anything even remotely having to do with ryan adams, or do you just have a boner for this message board?"
Renee!: "dianne said boner!"
"apple owns your souls you little ipod addicts. you'll all need hearing aids before you turn 40." -dianne
"nope. no seduction... i just have an appreciation for ridiculously good looking british boys." -dianne
"I bombard the poor girls with my music. There's no damn radio Disney on in my car. I just tell them they can't use the Ryan words. When they slip and let an expletive fly, I make them listen to the evangelical station and tell them that we can listen to that instead if they won't comply with the rules." -dianne
"I had a fun time the other night discussing John Mayer's guitar face with a singer friend of mine. we wondered if it the same as his poop face." -dianne
"Oh shit. My big sister got me a t-shirt from...the Bryan Adams Reckless tour. I was 10. It was sleeveless. Oh, 1984, you still haunt me." -dianne
"Damn you! Damn you and your Huey Lewis lovin' ways!" -dianne
"Hey, I'm not a bully, vain, or arrogant. Say that again, and I'll kick your ass." -dianne
"I have to admit - I don't own a John Mayer CD. He seems nice though. That was such a mom thing to say. I apologize. Dork." -dianne
"Get revenge and purge that hurt from your soul. Make Jesus proud." -bluehwy
"gavo, you ass-kisser, i like yer style!" -musicallie
"I bought 2 packs of 8 Gillette M3 Power razors, but I now wanna grow a beard." -gavo
bittertea: "I don't know many people who like U2. I certainly don't know anyone who likes Bono."
rachey: "Er, Bonochick?"
"Just because I break into people's rooms and strategically re-organize their CDs and rummage through their underwear drawer doesn't mean that something's wrong with me...." -RockNRollDarlin
"bonochick, thought you were good before, just realised your genius, may bono's power flow through you forever." -Roy100
"This moral high road is giving me a nosebleed." -porkandbeanokie
"I know that if I had a micro brewery and could fuck myself, I'd never leave the house." -porkandbeanokie
"I love her a lot, but she worships at the alter of Bowie and makes me listen to him all the time, even his recent albums, which isn't good for either of us." -bonointheunderworld
"Listen you dickless wonder, you're gonna be 43 some day too!" -kimberly
"Didn't you read what he said? He's a good christian, he doesn't like dropping f-bombs." -brotherintheblues
"I like my coffee like I like my women... only it's tough to find any 18 year old coffee." -brotherintheblues
"Maybe I'm biased and don't know anyone, but it's hard for me to believe anyone can have the best day of their life in Indianapolis." -brotherintheblues
"I have a beard trimmer with a nose hair attachment. I just jam that up there then hit the button and hold on for dear life." -Youngboy
"Jesus couldn't write Magnolia Mountain on a good day." -Youngboy
"I'm actually quite a nice guy. I just don't have a heart...or a soul." -Youngboy
"Jesus would be so much easier to find if he wore a red and white striped shirt, like Waldo." -Jayiggs
sinner: "mabye you should take your balls out of that jar and wear them."
gavo: "they dont fit in a jar, they are in a box"
"George is the wind beneath all of our wings. He's like El Nino." -sinner
"carrots, if you try to minimize the production of eggs, darren might ban you." -sinner
"i thought bonochick left us. i figured it involved some new music/ham/labs/u2/the u.p." -sinner
"He asked for a picture of Ryan Adams, not a hobo." -sinner
"I don't look like Ryan Adams. Except when I put on my custom made, completely life like Ryan Adams mask and sit around at 3:30 am on a Tuesday with it on and pretend that I'm him. Then I kind of look like him. Otherwise, I usually look like a douchebag who was up way too late getting high and drunk and then woke up and decided to do more of the same. Wait, maybe I do look like Ryan Adams...." -sinner
"Interesting. See, in theory, hell would have a really good jukebox, but you wouldn't have any quarters and some douchebag in a pink polo with his popped collar keeps dropping 20's in and playing the Pussycat Dolls or Limp Bizkit. Then, just for a little added insult, he turns around and asks if you want to hear a Beatles song, and puts in 'Revolution #9' on repeat. But I think Satan would have some decent taste in music. I even think, every so often, he'd play 'Devil Went Down To Georgia' and replay the loss in his mind. But maybe Satan has his own stereo system in his house or office." -sinner
"Stop making me love Ryan Adams so much." -Megan
"They overcook Slurpees now." -Ernie
Me: "If I accidentally got pregnant, what would you want to name the baby?"
Ernie: "Abort."
"Are you listening to yourself? You're a dork!" -Ernie
"Are you Jewish and not telling me?" -Ernie
"You were never bored as a child, were you?" -Ernie
"You turned a two second conversation into a five minute story!" -Ernie
"You're worse than the damn dog." -Ernie
"iPod...is that all you think about?" -Ernie
Ernie: "I think you're finally starting to see that there's more to life than Ryan Adams."
Me: "Bite your tongue, boy!"
"I believe in Bonochick's Dad. He's hunky." -Dr_Phil
"I blame Ryan Adams for everything." -Dad
"You can't reject a guy just because he doesn't like Ryan Adams!" -Dad
Dad: "You're like Martha Stewart, but without the prison time."
Me: "Patience!"
"If we were smart, we'd have emergency pudding." -Dad
"I was trying to be considerate, you bitch!" -Dad
"I'm not mad. I'm just going to be waiting for you with a baseball bat." -Dad
"You should be one of those people who makes things out of dryer lint." -Dad
"Call 911, I'll be naked in a tree!" -Dad
"If he hurts my little girl, I'll kick his ass." -Dad
"They don't even write their own music. No-talent no-goods. Sons of bitches." -Dad
"Don't get yourself killed. It would ruin my weekend. I mean, I'd still take my trip...but I'd be kinda bummed." -Dad
"That's our problem...we're idiots." -Dad
Ryan Adams: "You're a very pleasant young lady."
Dad: "He obviously doesn't know you like I do."
Me: "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
Dad: "How could it possibly hit me in the you?"
Dad: "Some of those guys have pretty big boobs."
Me: "Are you getting turned on?"
Sister: "Where's your pot?"
Mom: "Pot of what?"
"I love public displays of reproduction!" -Mom
"Frisbetarians believe that when they die, their soul goes up on the roof, and they can't get it down." -Bono
"If I am close to the music, and you are close to the music, we are close to each other." -Bono
"If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal."
"All I'm saying is, if you're a slut - be proud of it! Don't make excuses saying there's some double-standard. If you're a guy and sleep around, you're a man-whore, a sleaze, a player, a slime. If you're a girl, then you're a slut, a whore, a tramp."
"Do these leather pants make me look like Jesus?"
"Please don't brighten my day. I have sensitive eyes."
I'm just a singer, some say a sinner
=============================
The Day stumblinginthedark Went Bitchcakes On Me - 9/15/06
"oh I love you too Bonochick! don't worry! I won't be attending your convention!!! I'd only spend $, time and energy to go see Ryan play...not be part of your pretend country club getogether.
you don't even know me fuckin bitch! I barely talk to my friends much...a few words here and there...and pretty good listener. same at work. if I'm so awful, how come as soon as I go to a new job, suddenly people are drawn to me and seem to like me?
your judgements and ill will and hostility belie your pooooor sense of character, morals and personality.
that was nasty nasty nasty!
I came here today to check out some Ryan vids...cuz haven't been able to in ages! was gonna ask about that.
but after your nasty comment. never mind! I've got BETTER things to do! than waste my time on a HATE board like this!!!
have a NICE day!"
~~~
"I agree. totally. but some of the supposedly 'cool' people here...like the very popular Bonochick...are almost as bad. dumb and propogater of hatred and verbal violence.
it's no wonder Canadians for decades have been PROUDLY wearing and showing off their Canadian flags on their backpacks when travelling!
but then so sad, cuz course many Americans are nice. but why some have to think they are SOOO better than some or others and perpetuate the image of Americans as sooooooo arrogant!
(sorry but I am pretty pissed off than it only takes 5 minutes before some fat ass cow with a slut for a dad has to start insulting me! and ruin any fun that could be had here! but never gets banned or chastised of course. somehow it's considered 'ok' to do that...talk like that to others.)
btw, I meant to add "and your brother was prob conceived by the milkman and your daddy prob doesn't love your mother and secretly loves her sister....
meaning you low class, unsophisticated.....jealous...."
~~~
"(you prob live in a shack somewhere and use an outhouse for a washroom and haven't bathed in 2 weeks....and....)"
~~~
"well then she shouldn't say:
"ya, I hope stumbling doesn't give one of her speeches. then we'll all jump off a building!"
you don't think that's Nasty??!! I find that VERY nasty! and hurtful. I just got up. bit curious bout things here...wanted to check some threads, maybe some RA vids...and tour related things. I make a joke about myself...good naturedly...and have to 'hear'/read THAT??! sorry. that is just uncalled for in my books!!
the fact that people can't discriminate that that is unnecessary hostility....AND perpetuates what most or alot of non-Americans associate WITH the American personality...I just DON'T get that! that you guys don't see that. it's appalling and disheartening to me.
I NEVER start the hostility! it's ALWAYS ALWAYS either Bonochick or Brandy Bomb or Xtie lynn or Voice of Reason or someone like that.
I'm sorry. but I'm just not the kind of person to ignore stuff like that.
you guys REALLY need to take a look at yourselves! as a culture and all that. You point fingers at politicians but you contribute in little ways to bad vibes and feelings around the world. my opinion. and I LIKE your country and culture mostly. But alot, alot of people around me shake their heads and say things like this....about your arrogance and bad attitude and all that. in general.
wake up and smell the coffee! clean up your act. be nice to people. don't try to pass up hate for some kindof social comedy or humour! ain't workin! not nice!
(sorry, but that's how I feel. I am very angry, hurt and offended right now. not to mention sooooo tired of having to defend myself CONSTANTLY here! the endless little verbal attacks towards me. very tiresome.)"
~~~
"yes, I am sure Bonochick is a nice person in 'real life'. But so am I. and I did NOT find that joke funny! I've got alot going on in my life right now...mr. sometimes crazy neighbour went 'off' on me again yesterday...so pretty much shook me up.
anyways, I get tired of the endless insults. I DON'T find them that funny or funny at all.
it's always the same old same old. things are fine for a while...a few days...a week. then slowly the little digs, putdowns and insults start appearing. towards me. it piles up. I ignore, ignore, ignore then one day I 'blow up'...lose my temper and super insult back.
I don't like insulting neither. I just cannot BELIEVE how tolerant people are here of behaviour that I find almost intolerable.
If I write long posts alot, and it bothers people...I am SO sorry! I've been posting and ranting alot, alot less lately! soo...
I am a nice person in 'real life' too! ask anyone around me...my friends and associates.
I challenge any of these people who are constantly sneering at and about me...laughing at me at my expense...critisising me endlessly...to come 'here' and look at me in the face...in my face...in my eyes...and do the same! I bet you wouldn't do it!
anyways...yes, I have some deleting to do.
thankfully the allure of this 'place' is lately fading for me. find it a bit boring alot. sometimes fun. yes, I like talking to Doogie sometimes, cuz find him interesting at times. thinks about things. things that matter to me too..."
~~~
"but it does seem like a sortof sick, twisted 'sport' of sorts. I think it's intentional...or seems that way.
insult me, piss me off, provoke me...over and over...then watch me go 'off'...act all shocked and outraged...and then imitate me and mock me some more. endless putdowns.
I'll try not to contribute but it's difficult. I don't find this is a very 'safe' place lately. to be who or how I am...as I am. I get the feeling there's a 'right' way to be...people want me to be like them. and can't handle me being different or whatever. I can't be other than who and what I am.
anyways, found this in my emails. I like this quote:
"That you are here--that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse."
(from O me! O life! by Walt Whitman)"
~~~
"I want to delete what I said, but I don't wanna look at this thread.
also, for me, jokes about jumping outta buildings, considering the date and time (and ya know...tragedy associated with)...that's partly why I thought it was pretty offensive. I didn't find it funny. but I'll let it go. and hopefully delete my harsh words later...some point.
btw, I know lots of music peops in Vancouver. want some of their emails? you can ask em what I'm like. like when I see on street corners, do I 'give' em a speech? or do I...like anyone else....say a few words, hello, and goodbye and carry on my day and way. my social skills are not nearly as BAD as some of yous make out.
I'm sure if you met me at such imagined convention, you'd actually prob find me quite aloof.
anyways. today I 'remembered' Nancy Trot in grade two, who all the kids said had 'coodies' or whatever. There was also a super nerdy boy too, everyone made fun of. Always felt sorry for them.
you guys (sometimes) make me feel like that. when I am soooo not!"
`````````
"no I did not start this thread and I am SICK SICK of people endlessly discussing me, analysing me....all that. It goes FAR, FAR beyond the boundaries of what's appropriate for a message board!
I find it very, very hurtful to my alround 'well being'. Yes, I don't post as much anymore....I think that's good. It was excessive before, no doubt.
Bonochick, I am VERY, VERY sorry for what I said to you yesterday. Of course I didn't mean it at all. I like you, I've always liked you...just like Brandy Bomb. But you guys went from being friendly months ago to suddenly joining the 'sneer' committee and crew 'here'...with Voice of Reason. In the last while, both of you have made countless little digs about me. It hurt more cuz you used to be friendly towards me.
for C's sake! It's a Ryan Adams message board, not a Stumbling board. Get real! This is sooooo soooo unhealthy.
I don't feel well today but wanted to say some RA related things and music related things and HERE's this ridiculous thread top of the page!
You guys have your priorities seriously, seriously screwed up.
If you don't stop it...and I MEAN IT! this constant constant 'assessment' of me...this constant constant 'us and them' attitude and acting like I'm almost an object under your surveyance and psychological magnifying glass...much as you guys also often treat Doogie...like he's not a human being.
If you DON'T STOP IT, I might take action. Contact someone regarding the 'mental health' implications of this situation. Because I consider it abusive. If you tell someone "please don't do that, I don't like it. it hurts me" and the person keeps on, keeps on doing it...AND all the while says "oh, I'm not doing anything wrong! you're just a baby! making a fuss about nothing. we're not hurting you! what's wrong with you? you're the messed up person!!"...that is CLASSIC, CLASSIC abusive behaviour! (I know, I've been there and been in groups for it, recovering from)
so please stop! I just wanna talk about Ryan and music...and maybe the odd life thing but in a pleasant way.
(and Bonochick, I accept that you mighta meant it 'lightly' like you said, but that's not how I heard it. it was all about a 'gettogether' and of course I'd like to be accepted by the 'group' and be liked, like everyone else. that's normal and human. it hurts to be constantly ousted and rejected and condemned and all that.)
egads! now you're all gonna analyse these words and put your two cents in about what you think it means when really I just would prefer if you'd try to 'listen' and maybe understand a bit...or ignore if you don't like.
(man this is soooo tiresome!)"
~~~
"ya, you're right Bonochick, I went over the edge in my response. it was bad timing. been a bad week....aunt super hurt, my mom's all freaked out, hard at work in some ways, then my sometimes 'pyscho' neighbour went off (friends suspect big drug habit maybe influencing his erratic and almost violent...he started coming after me like he was gonna beat me up the other day...behaviour.)
and ya...you got 'it'! I was fed up of months and months of all the insults. so I was very rude to you back.
I see you as a jolly fun, person and like what you've said about your family. I was just really dissappointed and hurt to see you join the 'supposed' hate campaign towards me.
anyways. let's stop ok. I certainly didn't mean those things. I'm sorry I hurt you! I'm embarassed I said those thing."
~~~
"ps Bonochick, I was feeling so bad last night I was thinking of emailing you today. to say sorry." |
| Post Count |
38391 |
|
